You Know You're A Teacher in Bush Alaska. . .

I'd like to thank all of my friends who contributed to this. It was hilarious to compile, and I'm sure there will be many more. Enjoy!

You know you're a teacher in bush Alaska when. . .

1. Your boss comes in wearing a hair net and carrying pancake syrup and asks if you have any more syrup at your house because the school ran out.
2. A student calls you an hour before school to ask if she can come in to shower.
3. A student leaves a bloody caribou head on your porch, and you take it as a compliment.
4. Everyone you know is waiting for the mail plane to see what Netflixs came in.
5. You go to the post office and the clerk gives you the mail for all of your friends along with yours.
6. You go to the store to get bread, eggs and butter and they don't have any.
7. The pilot puts 3 quarts of oil in the plane and says, "Hurry up, let's go"
8. When landing at a village airstrip, you look out the side window straight down the runway,
9. A snow machine is to ride on, not to make snow with
10. A line from a student’s poem reads, “I ride my mother. . .” and it means he gave her a ride to work
11. A drop in the bucket has a whole other meaning
12. You sit around in a hot box naked with a bunch of women you barely know and think, “This is great!”
13. You wish the temperature would just drop to 0, snow a few feet, freeze everything, and be done with it already!
14. Pizza has a $30 delivery fee
15. 6 weeks is reasonable delivery time for UPS and FedEx
16. You see a student walking on the school’s playground carrying a rifle and you’re not worried, but say “Good Hunting!”
17. Although you live by Alaska Standard Time your cable is mixture of Eastern Standard Time and Pacific Time
18. A gallon of water is twice as expensive as a gallon of gas
19. A date includes going to the jail as an important landmark
20. Your school e-mail list includes guns for sale
21. The best entertainment in town is a band called the Squeeky Eeks
22. There are more dogs in the village than people, but only one cat
23. And finally, you know you’re a teacher in Bush Alaska when you have to ask the clerk to go behind the counter for mouthwash!