I’m always so excited to be coming home that I often forget how much trouble traveling can be. Although I’ve done the cross country trek half a dozen times now, this trip was the worst. Read on for my take on a classic Christmas song.
The 12 Travel Troubles of Erin Schalk
1- Crazy Cat Lady. I decided not to bring Portia home this time. The trip is hard on her, and it would be super expensive. So, I decided to board her in Anchorage. She’s staying at a place with a lady who refers to herself as The Crazy Cat Lady. I met her in baggage claim in the Anchorage airport. She gave me a clipboard with four pages of paperwork. When I finished filling it out, I took it to her and she had covered Portia in cat nip. It was quite a site.
2- Delayed Flights. The charter we had scheduled was supposed to come in at 5:00 Friday. However, I got a call saying the weather might go down and we should come earlier. After much rearranging, we managed to arrange to come in at 3:00 to Bethel. I called the charter office and they said they’d come as soon as they could. They came at 4:45. Seriously? We were supposed to leave at 5:00. Oh well. The second time was in Bethel. I was suppose to leave at 2:30 PM and the flight was cancelled due to weather.
3- Times I went through security. Twice in Bethel, once in Anchorage. There were no full body scanners thankfully.
4- bags I schlepped back and forth from the Bethel airport. One was checked, two carry-ons, and a cat.
5- Weather changes that affected flights. Two times in Eek and three times in Bethel. The fog would go up and down and up and down. Very frustrating.
6- Boarding Passes. Between the number of flights and the Bethel trip being cancelled then rebooked, then seats changed, I ended up with six passes.
7- Times at the baggage office in the Cleveland airport. In Bethel, I asked for my bag to go through Cleveland. However, the agent there coded it wrong. Instead of being on my United flight with me, it went on a Continental flight to Cleveland. So, of course, it wasn’t there when I was. After going back and forth between the two offices it finally got figured out where my bag was and who was responsible for getting it to me. Let me just say that United does not top my list of great airlines to travel. But, I got my bag, so it all turned out ok.
8- flights I’m associated with. 1 Grant Aviation from Eek to Bethel. Three Alaska Airlines flights, two from Bethel to Anchorage and one from Anchorage to Chicago. One US Airways flight from Chicago to Columbus. One United flight from Chicago to Cleveland (the one I was actually on). Two Continental flights (one that my bag was supposed to be on and the one my bag was actually on).
9- Amount of money I paid in Chicago O’Hare airport for a cup of coffee and an apple.
10- Amount of dollars I paid for lunch for my brother and I at Taco Bell. My first meal back in Ohio.
11- Calls or texts to my mom telling her of flight situations.
12- Drinks. Number of drinks I consumed between leaving Eek and arriving in Uhrichsville.
Although there were a few bumps in the road, I am so happy to be home and see my family.
Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
You Know You're A Teacher in Bush Alaska. . .
I'd like to thank all of my friends who contributed to this. It was hilarious to compile, and I'm sure there will be many more. Enjoy!
You know you're a teacher in bush Alaska when. . .
1. Your boss comes in wearing a hair net and carrying pancake syrup and asks if you have any more syrup at your house because the school ran out.
2. A student calls you an hour before school to ask if she can come in to shower.
3. A student leaves a bloody caribou head on your porch, and you take it as a compliment.
4. Everyone you know is waiting for the mail plane to see what Netflixs came in.
5. You go to the post office and the clerk gives you the mail for all of your friends along with yours.
6. You go to the store to get bread, eggs and butter and they don't have any.
7. The pilot puts 3 quarts of oil in the plane and says, "Hurry up, let's go"
8. When landing at a village airstrip, you look out the side window straight down the runway,
9. A snow machine is to ride on, not to make snow with
10. A line from a student’s poem reads, “I ride my mother. . .” and it means he gave her a ride to work
11. A drop in the bucket has a whole other meaning
12. You sit around in a hot box naked with a bunch of women you barely know and think, “This is great!”
13. You wish the temperature would just drop to 0, snow a few feet, freeze everything, and be done with it already!
14. Pizza has a $30 delivery fee
15. 6 weeks is reasonable delivery time for UPS and FedEx
16. You see a student walking on the school’s playground carrying a rifle and you’re not worried, but say “Good Hunting!”
17. Although you live by Alaska Standard Time your cable is mixture of Eastern Standard Time and Pacific Time
18. A gallon of water is twice as expensive as a gallon of gas
19. A date includes going to the jail as an important landmark
20. Your school e-mail list includes guns for sale
21. The best entertainment in town is a band called the Squeeky Eeks
22. There are more dogs in the village than people, but only one cat
23. And finally, you know you’re a teacher in Bush Alaska when you have to ask the clerk to go behind the counter for mouthwash!
You know you're a teacher in bush Alaska when. . .
1. Your boss comes in wearing a hair net and carrying pancake syrup and asks if you have any more syrup at your house because the school ran out.
2. A student calls you an hour before school to ask if she can come in to shower.
3. A student leaves a bloody caribou head on your porch, and you take it as a compliment.
4. Everyone you know is waiting for the mail plane to see what Netflixs came in.
5. You go to the post office and the clerk gives you the mail for all of your friends along with yours.
6. You go to the store to get bread, eggs and butter and they don't have any.
7. The pilot puts 3 quarts of oil in the plane and says, "Hurry up, let's go"
8. When landing at a village airstrip, you look out the side window straight down the runway,
9. A snow machine is to ride on, not to make snow with
10. A line from a student’s poem reads, “I ride my mother. . .” and it means he gave her a ride to work
11. A drop in the bucket has a whole other meaning
12. You sit around in a hot box naked with a bunch of women you barely know and think, “This is great!”
13. You wish the temperature would just drop to 0, snow a few feet, freeze everything, and be done with it already!
14. Pizza has a $30 delivery fee
15. 6 weeks is reasonable delivery time for UPS and FedEx
16. You see a student walking on the school’s playground carrying a rifle and you’re not worried, but say “Good Hunting!”
17. Although you live by Alaska Standard Time your cable is mixture of Eastern Standard Time and Pacific Time
18. A gallon of water is twice as expensive as a gallon of gas
19. A date includes going to the jail as an important landmark
20. Your school e-mail list includes guns for sale
21. The best entertainment in town is a band called the Squeeky Eeks
22. There are more dogs in the village than people, but only one cat
23. And finally, you know you’re a teacher in Bush Alaska when you have to ask the clerk to go behind the counter for mouthwash!
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