Monday, December 20, 2010

The 12 Travel Troubles of Erin Schalk

I’m always so excited to be coming home that I often forget how much trouble traveling can be. Although I’ve done the cross country trek half a dozen times now, this trip was the worst. Read on for my take on a classic Christmas song.

The 12 Travel Troubles of Erin Schalk

1- Crazy Cat Lady. I decided not to bring Portia home this time. The trip is hard on her, and it would be super expensive. So, I decided to board her in Anchorage. She’s staying at a place with a lady who refers to herself as The Crazy Cat Lady. I met her in baggage claim in the Anchorage airport. She gave me a clipboard with four pages of paperwork. When I finished filling it out, I took it to her and she had covered Portia in cat nip. It was quite a site.

2- Delayed Flights. The charter we had scheduled was supposed to come in at 5:00 Friday. However, I got a call saying the weather might go down and we should come earlier. After much rearranging, we managed to arrange to come in at 3:00 to Bethel. I called the charter office and they said they’d come as soon as they could. They came at 4:45. Seriously? We were supposed to leave at 5:00. Oh well. The second time was in Bethel. I was suppose to leave at 2:30 PM and the flight was cancelled due to weather.

3- Times I went through security. Twice in Bethel, once in Anchorage. There were no full body scanners thankfully.

4- bags I schlepped back and forth from the Bethel airport. One was checked, two carry-ons, and a cat.

5- Weather changes that affected flights. Two times in Eek and three times in Bethel. The fog would go up and down and up and down. Very frustrating.

6- Boarding Passes. Between the number of flights and the Bethel trip being cancelled then rebooked, then seats changed, I ended up with six passes.

7- Times at the baggage office in the Cleveland airport. In Bethel, I asked for my bag to go through Cleveland. However, the agent there coded it wrong. Instead of being on my United flight with me, it went on a Continental flight to Cleveland. So, of course, it wasn’t there when I was. After going back and forth between the two offices it finally got figured out where my bag was and who was responsible for getting it to me. Let me just say that United does not top my list of great airlines to travel. But, I got my bag, so it all turned out ok.

8- flights I’m associated with. 1 Grant Aviation from Eek to Bethel. Three Alaska Airlines flights, two from Bethel to Anchorage and one from Anchorage to Chicago. One US Airways flight from Chicago to Columbus. One United flight from Chicago to Cleveland (the one I was actually on). Two Continental flights (one that my bag was supposed to be on and the one my bag was actually on).

9- Amount of money I paid in Chicago O’Hare airport for a cup of coffee and an apple.

10- Amount of dollars I paid for lunch for my brother and I at Taco Bell. My first meal back in Ohio.

11- Calls or texts to my mom telling her of flight situations.

12- Drinks. Number of drinks I consumed between leaving Eek and arriving in Uhrichsville.

Although there were a few bumps in the road, I am so happy to be home and see my family.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 3, 2010

You Know You're A Teacher in Bush Alaska. . .

I'd like to thank all of my friends who contributed to this. It was hilarious to compile, and I'm sure there will be many more. Enjoy!

You know you're a teacher in bush Alaska when. . .

1. Your boss comes in wearing a hair net and carrying pancake syrup and asks if you have any more syrup at your house because the school ran out.
2. A student calls you an hour before school to ask if she can come in to shower.
3. A student leaves a bloody caribou head on your porch, and you take it as a compliment.
4. Everyone you know is waiting for the mail plane to see what Netflixs came in.
5. You go to the post office and the clerk gives you the mail for all of your friends along with yours.
6. You go to the store to get bread, eggs and butter and they don't have any.
7. The pilot puts 3 quarts of oil in the plane and says, "Hurry up, let's go"
8. When landing at a village airstrip, you look out the side window straight down the runway,
9. A snow machine is to ride on, not to make snow with
10. A line from a student’s poem reads, “I ride my mother. . .” and it means he gave her a ride to work
11. A drop in the bucket has a whole other meaning
12. You sit around in a hot box naked with a bunch of women you barely know and think, “This is great!”
13. You wish the temperature would just drop to 0, snow a few feet, freeze everything, and be done with it already!
14. Pizza has a $30 delivery fee
15. 6 weeks is reasonable delivery time for UPS and FedEx
16. You see a student walking on the school’s playground carrying a rifle and you’re not worried, but say “Good Hunting!”
17. Although you live by Alaska Standard Time your cable is mixture of Eastern Standard Time and Pacific Time
18. A gallon of water is twice as expensive as a gallon of gas
19. A date includes going to the jail as an important landmark
20. Your school e-mail list includes guns for sale
21. The best entertainment in town is a band called the Squeeky Eeks
22. There are more dogs in the village than people, but only one cat
23. And finally, you know you’re a teacher in Bush Alaska when you have to ask the clerk to go behind the counter for mouthwash!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Big Weekend That Wasn't

Well, I suppose it's official that the holidays are upon us. But, up here, it still seems like a distant dream. Corny, but true. I had intended to go to Homer, Alaska, with my friend Segue. She and I had made plane reservations to go to Homer on Thursday evening. We were spending Thanksgiving proper in Anchorage, eating at a nice restaurant, staying in a nice hotel, and seeing a movie. Then, we were on to Homer to walk in snowshoes, go to a spa, see another movie, eat out, and, of course, drink a beer.

Then, the Monday before Thanksgiving came and Segue called me with bad news. The river was thawing. You see, Segue lives in Oscarville, which is so small it doesn't have an airport or roads connecting it to anywhere else. During the warm months, she can get places by boating on the Kuskokwim River. In the winter, they can snowmachine over the land to Bethel or, when it's frozen enough, snowmachine or drive vehicles on the river into Bethel. However, for about 3 weeks in the fall and 3 weeks in the spring, she's stuck. The river is too icy for boats and not icy enough for snowmachines.

The land was frozen enough for snowmachines about 2 weeks ago. Then, we had four days of above freezing temperatures. This is bad. Both the river and the land were not frozen enough to get out. Segue was stuck in Oscarville.

Now, I had three options:
A. go to Homer alone
B. find someone else to go to Homer
C. stay in Eek, cancel all reservations, and eat the deposit money

I chose C. Frankly, if I couldn't go with Segue, I didn't want to go. Luckily, I got 100% full refunds on everything from the hotels to the plane reservations. So, my bank account was happy.

The holiday here was quiet. We had another teacher from Quingahak (the next village over) come and visit with her brother and two friends. There were eleven of us at dinner. The highlight of Thanksgiving was the wolf/dog.

Dirk had come over for breakfast from his man cave when we all decided to watch a movie. So, I put on my knee high boots over my pajama pants and slung on my North Face fleece and walked with Dirk to his house. As we came back with classics like "Pulp Fiction" and "The Abyss", I said to Dirk, "Who's the weirdo with gun walking behind the housing?"

"It's Brett (our new principal), " he answered.

"What's he doing?"

"Feeding his dogs (side note- my new principal has a dog team the he mushes)," Dirk said like I was an idiot.

"With a gun?" I answered. So, Dirk and I stood in the now freezing temperatures and watched Brett walk out to his dog team with a gun. That's when we saw a black shape running around the dump which is behind our housing unit.

"Is that a wolf?" I asked. Little did I know that that would be the question of the day. Dirk and I stood and watched for while before we went back to my apartment and told the others. So, for a while, like half an hour, seven of us stood at my windows drinking coffee and watching my principal hunt this animal.

We still aren't sure if it was a wolf or a dog. Nobody can decide. One of our Board of Education members shot it, but it ran off and we haven't seen it since.

For the record, my principal maintains he was not hunting dogs.

That was the high point of an otherwise lovely, but laze break. I didn't fight nay Black Friday crowds, I didn't have to drive to anyone's house which are all good things. So, overall, it was a good weekend.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Steamy!

Yesterday I was sitting at work thinking that it was about time I post again, but yet nothing blog worthy had happened. So, I was wracking my brain trying to think of something when my phone rang. A fellow teacher, Loni, who is a Native Alaskan called me and asked me and my roommate to come steam with her. I immediately accepted and came home to ask my roomie.

Let me explain what a steam is. In many villages here in bush Alaska, including Eek, msot of the village houses don't have indoor plumbing and running water. So, the villagers do what they've been doing for years and years- steam bathing. Outside of the house is a small building made of plywood with two rooms. The first room with the outer door is the "cool room". There is a door in the "cool room" that leads to the inner room or the "steam room". Inside the steam room, there's a cast iron stove on which you put rocks.

To start the steam, you light a fire in the stove. Then, you let the water in the basin attached to the stove boil. When the water is boiling, it's time to start the bath.

My roommate, Traci, and I walked over to Loni's house and stepped into the cool room. Loni was already in the steam room. Traci and I stripped down to nothing and joined Loni in the steam room. The room was pretty warm, but not too bad. That was about to change. Loni poured the water on top of the rocks and let the heat roll over us. It was easily the most intense heat I have ever experienced. In fact, I had to wet my hair because if it were dry it would get so hot that it would burn my scalp! Also, I had to breathe through my nose or else my gums burned. Traci and I found the yoga pose, child's pose, to be helpful For those of you who don't know yoga, child's pose is when you sit back on your knees and bend over with your forehead on the floor. When you're crouched over like that the heat goes on your back which is less sensitive than say a woman's bare chest.

After we poured the water on the stones a few times we went back to the cool room to cool off and drink water. We sat on towels in the cool room and talked. This is a traditional time for women to socialize without men being near. It is customary to only steam with people of the same gender.

Once we had repeated the process of steaming and cooling off a few times, we started the bath part. Each of us had a small basin of water. We took out shampoo, conditioner and soap into the steam room. We washed like normal by dipping wash cloths and our hair into the basin and rinsing. When you finish, you just dump your water near the edge of steam room and let it run outside. You finish the steam bath by sitting in the cool room and drying off.

After the steam bath, I was completely relaxed and my muscles felt like jelly. Traci has had neck surgery and said that it made her tense neck muscles feel amazing. It was time consuming, about two hours, but totally worth it. It was just one more experience that I will never forget.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Amongst all the fun

For the past few weeks, I have been overcome with a desire to write a great blog post. I have a great post up my sleeve about an ill-fated guinea pig, but, alas, I'm still awaiting pictures. So, in the meantime, let me tell you how I have been spending my time.

Mostly, I've been in Bethel. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Bethel, it is my regional hub, school district headquarters, and closest town of any importance. There are about 6,000 people in Bethel- most of whom seem to work for LKSD (Lower Kuskokwim School District- like me) or YKHC (Yukon-Kuskokwim Health Corporation). I have spent the last two weekends there- and they have been fabulous!

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to score writing assessments in Bethel. Writing assessments are writing assignments given to all students in my district. The students must choose from two prompts and spend one class period writing about it. Then, the district brings in 25 or so people to score them. I've been told that to most people being called into Bethel to score these assessments for 3 days is tantamount to having your teeth pulled. I, on the other hand, think it is loads of fun and would love to do it more often!

That weekend I finished working on Saturday, but decided to stay an extra night in Bethel at the Old Mission House Bed and Breakfast owned by my friend Vicki. My favorite thing about staying there is that Vicki treats her guests as friends. I showed up there Wednesday night to find Vicki working in her kitchen. She told me that I would have the place to myself after that night. I assumed she meant by myself without any other guests. However, Vicki meant she was leaving for Seattle, and the house would be all mine. She agreed to let me stay an extra night for the bargain price of $0 if I helped with household chores while she was out. I agreed right away.

One might ask me, what do you do in Bethel on a Saturday night? The answer-ballroom dancing! A co-worker suggested to me that Segue and I join him for dance lessons. the three of us paid $10 and fox trotted and cha-chaed the night away! In true Alaska fashion, there were actually MORE MEN at ballroom dancing than women!

Another week of work passed, and I went back to Bethel this weekend. My roomie and friend, Traci Buckle (look her up on iTunes) was performing at the Steel Salmon and Raven Show. So, Segue, myself, and a few other friends bought $50 dinner tickets to eat crab, listen to Traci, and socialize. That might seem outlandish, but it was awesome!

What is a Steel Salmon and Raven show? Well, local artists are given salmon and ravens made of steel to decorate and create art with. The results were amazing. Then, the pieces were auctioned off along with other various objects. The pieces went for $95 at the low end and over $600 at the high end. I also watched a guy pay $75 for a cheesecake. Of course, as I was reminded, it was a fundraiser for the local art guild.

The auction ended and Segue reminded me that ballroom dancing was being offered again. So, we went with three more friends in tow. Once again, it was a great class followed by wine (yay!) and Catch Phrase with some more awesome people. So, for all of you who were curious, that's what I've been up to.

Amongst all this weekend fun, I do manage to teach also.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I Know I'm Back. . .

Today is a cool, misty day here in Eek. I've been here for 13 days, and already feel like I never left. In some ways, this is the easiest start of the school year I've ever had. I don't have to learn any new names, I know the staff, and my classes are already organized. However, there are some things that are truly indicative of where I live here in the tundra.

Today, I packed up two boxes. One goes to my mom with random items that I've ended with like my niece's socks, my brother's book, and a few other odds and ends. I also packed up a box with a loaner cell phone to mail back to the company now that I have my fancy used Blackberry.

I made my way to the post office and was told that someone had to get the boxes that had come in for the school. They were marked frozen and the post office didn't want them sitting there for the weekend. So, after trying to get a hold of my principal and another staff member, I ended up getting some students to help me get the boxes back to the school. There were too many to carry, so the student borrowed his parents' four wheeler with a trailer (remember- no cars here). I finally found another teacher to help me. For a tiny village, there were remarkably no people around to help me. . .

When we got to the post office, the worker brought out the boxes only to find that none were frozen, but most were textbooks. Oh well. As we made our way in the cool mist to the school with boxes of books, but no frozen food, I realized that I was back and couldn't be happier.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Because there are Roads Here. . .

I thought I would take some time to fill everyone in on what an Alaskan teacher does when she's not teaching.

1. Visiting friends. I have eaten more meals out in the past 3 weeks than I have in the past 6 months! Evidently, as we get older and want to spend time with friends, we know how to do two things: eat and drink. I have done plenty of both of those things. I'm not complaining though, it's nice to have the option.

2. The camper. For those of you who don't know, I bought a 1984 Yellowstone camper. It works about halfway. The hot water heater needs fixed and the air conditioner doesn't work. Although, I've been told to suck it up because it's not real camping any way. I decided to insure the camper because I'm a practical person. My car insurance is over $300 a half, my camper is $19. That should give you an idea of how much it's worth!

3. Family. One of my main activities has been visiting family and friends. I have watched my niece dance and graduate preschool. Alex, my niece, was performing in a street fair. So, my family went out to support her. It had to be 90 degrees and my thickened Alaskan blood wasn't having it! It was so hot and so uncomfortable, but I told myself it was worth it for Alex. Her group went and started their dance. It was maybe 30 seconds. . . All that sweat for 30 seconds. But, she was happy.

4. Deals! I have spend so much money since I've been home. But, the best deal, by far, is Diet Coke. Many of you know that I love this stuff and often call it Diet Crack. But, I refuse to pay $14 for a 12 pack in the village. So, imagine my delight when I found it at Wal-Mart for $5!!!!!! It was amazing! I almost bought 3 cases, but then remembered that I can go to Wal-Mart any time- because there are roads here.